‘Daddy A’ writes – The words of a father to a 2 year old

I am very very proud of my other half, Baby B’s wonderful dad who finally, after much promising, has written something for this blog. I don’t think that I have ever made any secret of the fact that I have found this parenting lark rather hard work at times. We are learning together every step of the way about how to be parents. At present we are learning how to cope with a very strong minded two year old!

I can’t believe how wonderful his writing is. Honest, frank and I think, quite touching.

Without further ado, Welcome ‘Daddy A’ to Up All Hours…

The day it all began

It’s currently 0630 on Sunday morning and I am up and at em with Baby B.

Things have been stressful lately. If I were to describe a quality about myself I would definitely say that ‘nothing stresses me’ or particularly bothers me. I’m extremely easy going and all in all love life. Things haven’t felt like that lately.

The missus has been working tirelessly ( I’ve been working quite hard too!) and we are getting married in under two months time and we still haven’t got everything organised.

So is that it? Are they the only reasons why I’m stressed and we’re bickering? I know that people have real problems and these certainly don’t constitute them. I’m 40 this year. Ah, maybe that’s it. Perhaps I’m just getting old and the stress is getting harder to deal with…

But wait, hang on a minute, didn’t I mention we have a two year old!?! Our Baby B, our pride and joy, our reason for living, our little man who we never knew we could love so much. That is essentially a caveat for what I’m about to say, and I’m already feeling guilty to holding him even slightly accountable for my new found stress!

The Boys

A Ditty for Baby B

Baby B is a beautiful boy. He’s smart, he’s chatty but can sometimes annoy,
His personality is funny, he makes us laugh, he has a meltdown when we mention bath,
We love our boy, he’s always happy, meltdown explosion when we change his nappy,
We’re going out, put on your shoes, here we go with the meltdown blues,
I loved it when he first said Daddy, it made me proud and so, so happy,
Daddy Daddy Daddy Daddy Daddy Daddy Daddy Daddy,
I feel so guilty and I really ought-a, my name is now like water torture,
Yes Baby B, what do you need, Daddy Daddy Daaaaaaaad-deee,
Baby B we have to go, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
What have I told you, you do not say no,
No, no, no, no, no, no, no,
Please eat that you loved it yesterday, ‘Did I? Oh well that was yesterday,
haven’t you heard of the ‘Terrible Twos’? They stress, and test, and infuriate you,
Allow me to explain, where do I begin, how bout toys thrown at your shin,
And see that ear that’s on that dog, it’ soft and fluffy so, er, hello, of course I’ll try and yank it off,
And nappy changes I’d rather pass, and what’s with that ton of cream across my arse,
Try and understand my bum might be sore, as in the past it’s been red raw,
So I’m sorry that I don’t get happy, when you shout ‘woohoo, let’s change your nappy’
As if it’s some kind of great adventure, like going to a soft play centre,
and excuse me if I’m not being fair, but when was the last time we went there?,
I don’t know what shifts the staff do but, it can’t be much cause it’s always shut,
I hate long journeys when the traffics slow, and that’s why I say no, no, no.
And besides mostly when the journey’s done, we’ve been shopping and we’ve had no fun,
And then you wonder why I’m such a grouch, get bored and crayon all over the couch,
If you really want me to stay calm,
take me over to Jimmy’s Farm,
I’ll put on my shoes, I’ll allow the socks,
if we can see some cows and nice peacocks,
And why would I ever want to nap at one, and miss out on all the fun,
I know you don’t like it when I say ‘I want it’,
But I’ve never seen it before and I just can’t help it,
I’m teething and just got my first molar, I want the Sky remote controller,
And I don’t want the one you stole from a hotel, that lives with the toys and does eft all,
So Mummy and Daddy please understand, it really is all out of my hands,
It’s neuroscience and brain cognition, and not a terrible strange condition,
I’m not an expert but please don’t get ‘vexed’, it’s all about the brain cortex’!

Daddy A and Baby B

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